I read Rachel Hollis’s “Girl, Wash Your Face” and other such off-the-shelf, millennial self empowering books while I was taking care of my mom last year. They were what you’d expect: motivating and instructive. While going through the torment of the deepest and darkest fear of my life, I was able to write a letter to myself, as instructed by Ms. Hollis, that had to fulfill the following criteria:
- a letter to yourself as an imaginary friend
- unconditionally loving
- accepting
- compassionate
- sees weaknesses and flaws
- sees strengths and good qualities
- and keep writing for 10 minutes
I wrote this in my journal, while lying on my bed and trying my best to do all those things as genuinely as I could right before making dinner. It’s funny because this morning, as I sat in the bright, airy Airbnb my friends and I are living in here in Lima, Peru, I randomly opened my journal to this page and found the letter. And although it’s only been 5 months since I wrote it, my god it really shows that it’s been 5 long months since I wrote it. I was quite impressed with myself, because the 5 months ago me reminded me of things I needed to hear today.
This is what the letter wrote.
Hey friend,
I know you have just gone through the hardest year of your life. You found a few new callings, were able to leave home and fend for yourself in the great white north – you did it all successfully and ultimately realized the millennial dream – all for it to be taken away from you. You faced horrors you never thought would occur, and you loved so hard it created a negative effect. I know. I’ts been the worst year, and your worst fear is a living, pulsing thing that’s been drawn out for 5 months already.
But trust me when I say that if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. I know, with 100% of my soul and spirit and being that you will take everything you’ve gone through this year to live life as best you can for the rest of your days.
You are well-loved, because you have loved. You have kind and generous friends, because you have been and are a kind and generous friend. And you have a family that loves you unconditionally, because you have loved them unconditionally.
Of course there will still be difficult days ahead – but not really. You’ve seen discrimination, worked at the bottom, worked at the top – you know how it is. And everything will be breezy from here on. You have what you need to do anything you want in the world. You can realize all those beautiful dreams you want to achieve.
I know some of the fear and anxiety is coming back. That’s ok. Because remember your resting bitchface? That’s what you do best; put it on, erase the anxiety and just take action. No more inaction, no more paralysis by analysis. You are so well disciplined – a perfect model of your mother – and so much more. You keep her memory alive by taking advantage of her teachings – and not implementing her habits that ruined her; the things she never liked about herself, her overworking, her antisociality. You, my friend, are a most improved version of your beautiful mom, and you should know that you inspire so many others.
Don’t worry about social constructs of timelines – not even those constructed in your head. Always remember that the universe has your back, that what needs to happen next will always happen next. Don’t think or worry too far into the future. Ask questions. Ask for help. And remember to ask about your friends. Not every detail matters. And not everyone you meet matters in your life. They are all lessons. And be ok to be yourself around people. You will find your true friends ands soulmates better that way. Remember, I am only a pen away.
Love,
Me
I suggest you also write a letter to yourself, as an imaginary friend, whether you’re going through a tough time or not. Look at the way you speak to yourself while stuck in your own mind, and look at the way you speak to yourself as a friend. Our minds are traps for abusive relationships – lifelong ones if you allow the mean things you say to yourself manifest into your daily life. Find compassion for yourself, just like you do for your friends when they’ve lost a job. Be kind to yourself, like you’re kind to your friends when they’re disappointed someone else’s actions. And most of all, be a friend to yourself, give yourself the advice you give to your friends when they can’t get themselves out of their own minds, as well.
wanderfulleecom.wordpress.com 